How coaches can help players at training
Here are some tips for designing training sessions to develop players’ social skills.
Allow time for conversation
If players are always rushing from one practice to the next, there’s little chance to socialise. Plan time for players to talk. This could be a casual catch-up while they take a drink, a few words of support between practices, or a technical discussion with the whole team. Look out for quieter players and find ways to try to involve them.
Of course, sometimes, weather may impact plans. If it’s cold and raining, you don’t want players standing still for too long. Instead, focus on fun activities that naturally bring out social returns.
Encourage problem-solving
Using the STEP framework (Youth Sports Trust, 2002), create practices that offer the right challenge to your players. But resist the urge to solve every problem for your team. Instead, ask them questions and get their thoughts. Encourage players to work together to find solutions and provide feedback to one another too.
Design sociable practices
Look for ways to build interaction into your practices.
Arrival activities are great for this. Players often turn up at different times, so set up an activity and put the instructions on a whiteboard. Then encourage players to explain the activity to the next person that arrives so they can get involved.
You could also let players choose people to be captains who relay your messages to the other players while playing. Or you could ask players simple, reflective questions when they finish a practice, like: 'What did you learn from that and what would you do next time?’
How coaches can help players on matchday
Get players to use their social skills on matchday by encouraging active participation.
For example, ask players to discuss what the team should focus on in the match, based on what you’ve worked on in this week’s training. You could get them to do this in small groups before bringing everyone back together to discuss.
And instead of substitutes sitting passively, get them to watch the game closely and give feedback at half-time.
Then create moments for casual connection. You could start the day with a fun, five-minute activity like foot tennis before shifting focus to the match.
On matchday, a player’s social skills can deteriorate after making a mistake. So, prepare players ahead of time with tools to manage emotional moments. This could include breathing exercises or simple resets like a high five. And remind them it’s a team game and encourage them to always support each other.
Finally, set the right tone on matchday by demonstrating the same social skills you expect from your players.
How to create an environment to encourage communication
For players to feel comfortable communicating, it’s up to you as a coach to create a safe environment and model the social skills you want to see.
Encourage players to express their opinions freely. Reassure them it's fine to make mistakes. Ask lots of questions, listen to their answers, and praise them for contributing.
Some players find it harder to speak up and socialise. Look out for less confident individuals and find gentle ways to help them develop their social skills. For instance, if you plan to ask them a question, give them a heads-up beforehand so they can prepare their answer. You could also only ask them questions when they’re in a small group. That way they may feel more comfortable than speaking up in front of everyone.
Talking in front of others can feel difficult at first but social skills improve with practice. So, praise players for positive social behaviours, not just tactical or technical successes.
How to work with parents and carers
Parents and carers spend more time with players than coaches, so work with them.
Build strong relationships so you can discuss a player’s social strengths and challenges openly. But be careful how you word feedback so it’s received positively.
Ask parents and carers what players are like at home. Is it different to what you see? And if so, why do they think that’s the case?
And offer practical suggestions of things that parents and carers can do to help. While on the way home from the match, they could ask their child questions that you would ask. For example, asking if they enjoyed the game, what they thought went well and what they’d like to work on. Then if you ask them these questions at the next training session, they might feel more comfortable answering.
